Let Your Ears Burn

Let’s be honest. Sharing this piece brings both shame and joy.

Joy, because I first wrote it back in 2015 and it found its way into a book by Danny Gregory; one of my favorite voices on creativity.
Shame, because it’s a raw confession of my lifelong battle with my inner critic. Even now, my ears still burn when I reread it.

But after countless hours at my desk, daily writing practices, and some inner work, I’ve built a gentler relationship with that critic. She still visits, but I’ve learned to be a more mindful host. I don’t lose myself when she’s around and I definitely don’t let her poke me with her needle anymore.

I’m sharing this now because it matters to remind ourselves and each other that we’re not alone in these battles. It’s part of the creative journey.  And I believe being willing to be vulnerable is the first step when you face the blank page. So letting your ears burn is part of a writer’s practice even if it doesn’t feel like it at all.

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EZGI’S MONKEY TALE: Ezgi is a freelance writer from Istanbul who has been wrestling with her monkey her whole adult life. “I started to see ‘it’ as a grumpy old lady. She likes to poke me with the needle in her hand and is really good at knowing what my soft spot is. She makes impressive entrances in the beginning of projects and says things like ‘You are just seeking attention like a little girl. That’s why you write. You’re insincere. And these ideas are no good. You were never good at finding ideas anyway.’ When I remind her of my past achievements, she answers, ‘You might fool people once or twice, but this is not the case this time.’ She never forgets to pay a visit to me after a rejection. Whenever an editor responds to me with ‘No,’ she screams back ‘No! No! No!’ while dancing. She crows, ‘I told you so! I told you so! What were you thinking, sending your childish story to this prestigious magazine?’ She hurts me mercilessly, but never forgets to remind me her intentions are all good. She says, ‘I may sound harsh but I just don’t want to see you suffering, honey.’ Somehow I doubt it.”